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Perfecting Imperfection

Perfection is about trying to avoid the hurt of being judged and criticized or feeling you are not good enough. You think it might protect you from being judged, but in fact it protects you from being seen. -Oprah

Today, I was musing over the fact that a friend of mine walks totally to her own beat. She’s a very successful business woman yet, she doesn’t always do things in a traditional manner. Oh she gets it done, just not always when and how you might expect.

Here’s the thing though, she has such a wonderful, giving, and charming, demeanor that quite often I actually find myself overlooking the fact that maybe she didn’t do what she told me she would do at the time, or in the manner, she said she would do it. The girl is really smooth. And just as I was thinking about her slickness, I ran across the above quote from Oprah.

I had to smile, because my friend-girl, could care less about perfection and she often says, “Done is better than perfect.” (Did you catch that?)

Being perfect is actually not in my genuine DNA, yet there was a period in my life when I went through a self imposed season of perfection. What I quickly learned was that trying to be perfect leads to an unreasonable standard of expectation. The people around you start acting like you really are perfect! And that my friend, is totally exhausting.Perfection

Can you imagine your family and friends expecting you to never make a mistake?! Well, I had to give that up and get a whole bunch of people in check…cuz I could not keep that perfection thing going.

So the next time you’re beating yourself up about some tiny, imperfection that no one, but perhaps you, even recognizes, stop and be gentle. Give yourself a break. Think about what’s your real reason for wanting to be so perfect? Are you afraid? Are you really scared of being judged in some way? And if you are, where is that coming from?

Are you afraid of being seen? Why?

Ask yourself these questions and really get inside your own head and heart and find out where this is coming from. It doesn’t have to be that way. Perfectionism is likely having the exact opposite outcome that you are seeking.

Love ya!
Cynthia

P.S. Perfectionism might be keeping you from stepping out on your big, bold goals. Let’s talk about it. CLICK HERE

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2 Comments on Perfecting Imperfection

  1. Jeanetta Edwards
    July 13, 2015 at 12:28 pm (2 years ago)

    Cynthia,

    I have to say until just recently I considered myself a “perfectionist” but never viewed it in the contents in which you and Ms. O have presented it. Growing up my mother’s famous words were “There is no such word as “can’t””. This was instilled in me as a very young child. Then I grew up and worked for some very powerful men who were “perfectionist” which sealed the deal on my world view.

    Recently, I realized I no longer want to be perfect it is too DAM hard and oppressive! I want to do my best and make mistakes that I can learn from so they don’t have to be repeated. I have so many things I want to do in life and being a “perfectionist” was putting me in a box not allowing me to grow!

    So I’m removing the superwoman cape, coming out from under the perfect umbrella to just LIVE! Thank you for the venue to express my thoughts and feelings! Love ya!

  2. EmpowerCoach
    July 13, 2015 at 3:12 pm (2 years ago)

    Confirmation! See what I mean? Exhausting! Jeanetta, I’m also glad to know you’re retiring the Superwoman cape! That cape is really shrouded in perfectionism. And yes, perfectionism can keep us from learning those lessons that allow us to be and become who we truly are. You also spoke of being in a “box”, well the box equals unseen. How will you do your greatest work if you are unseen? Nobody wants the Box. We strive to live “outside the Box!” Thank you for your enlightening and heartfelt comments. Love ya!

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