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Ain’t Nothing Open That Time of Night…Except Some Legs


You don’t know me and this is a helluva a way to introduce myself.

Honestly, I have to give credit for that title line to my friend Cassia.  One evening, as we laughed about the tales men tell, it occurred to me that women’s lives and our ability to function at our highest and greatest level is intricately impacted by the men we allow in our lives.

Ain't NothingA friend who I won’t name gave up on her relationship when in her words, “I just got tired of him coming home night after night, reeking of other woman.” This beautiful lady finally moved on and is currently in a loving and respectful relationship that keeps her laughing, living, and enjoying a victorious life of abundance.

Still, another sister friend shared the impact of being in a physically and emotionally abusive* relationship that had her going through her man’s phone and email, and where she found herself following him clad in only a bathrobe and slippers in the wee hours of the morning in sub degree Chicago winter weather.  This escapade resulted in a serious assault that landed her in the hospital from not only a tragic beating but also a serious bout with life threatening pneumonia.  The demise of the relationship, needless to say, was a step up.

Here is what I know:  We are not our past, or current circumstance, for that matter.  Every hardship, every damaging relationship, every negative experience, is part of a greater plan to propel us forward to walking in the reality of our true destiny.  Our genuine calling.

Sadly, too often we fail to realize our greatness because we accept a lie, we accept the false definition, rather than embracing the reality of who we are meant to be.  One of the saddest realities is to never experience the true life, the God given, purposeful destiny that is set before each of us at birth.  To never claim the purpose filled journey we were all meant to live is tragic.

So let me share five ways you can start walking in your purpose in spite of relationship drama or your current circumstance:

  • Believe In Yourself – People say believe in yourself, yet if you weren’t raised that way, it can be a difficult thing to do. Nevertheless, you have to do it. Make a promise to stop doubting yourself. Stop second guessing yourself. You have to put an end to that right now. You cannot expect someone else to believe in you if you won’t even believe in yourself. And you certainly won’t be treated like the Queen Bee that you are.
  •  Understand Your Gifts and Purpose – Diligently seek out what you are good at and use that gift to bless someone and make your own life better. And before you start thinking you don’t have any gifts, just stop already. Everybody has a gift and a purpose. Understanding your gifts and purpose is a topic all by itself. We’ll talk more about it later, for now just work on operating in your gifts or discovering your gifts and purpose.
  • Be A Giver – When you hold your hand (and heart) tightly closed, nothing will get out and nothing will come in either. Release, let go.
  •  Put Fear In Check – This is a hard one. I struggle with it myself. You know those people who appear to be brave and bold? They’re fearful too, but they do stuff anyway. Do it afraid! On the other side of fear are great blessings, great rewards. You cannot live a victorious life, cowering in fear of every freaking thing.
  •  Don’t Quit – And finally whatever you do, don’t ever give up. You are called to do a great work here on earth, to leave your mark and to make the world better for those who come after us. You were built for this. So don’t ever call it quits.

There you have it, my tips to help you start claiming your destiny. It’s never too late. Of course I’m not a relationship counselor or a marriage counselor, or a therapist, yet I have attended the School of Hard Knocks and these are some of the lessons I’ve learned.

Now let’s move forward. We got work to do and some powerful lives to live.

It’s time to create your destiny.  Don’t wait.  I can help.   Click here.


Love ya!


*If you’re in an abusive relationship contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at or 1-800-799-7233, reach out to a friend, a family member, your child’s teacher, a health care professional, co-worker, or pastor.  Tell someone, do not suffer in silence.*

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